The late nineties to early 2000 was an exciting time to be alive.In the latter half of the nineties, everyone was pondering what the next millennium would be like, especially the teenagers, who always look forward to the next decade with exciting expectations. The most memorable media of the nineties: Techno music, Dark Angel, Strange Days and Gattaca, were all about looking into post Y2K(which was also part of the future meme). Many great cultural events played out and fueled the imagination of a young boy who didn’t quite belong. I spend this afternoon imagining the world of tomorrow from his perspective.
When he grows up, Azteks would roam the streets alongside fixed-gear bikes. He would save the world with supreme cowboy hacking skills fostered by his teachers Kevin Mitnick and Bernie S.
Helping him would be a beautiful purple-haired ninja engineered from the DNA of Jessica Alba and Milla Jovovich. After the corporate challengers of free thought were vanquished, They would visit the coolest club in town and absorb themselves in “Techno”(we knew what Techno meant, Engel by Rammstein). A lot of weird costumes at the club. “Eew, they’re gay!”
*record scratches*
“Oops, sorry Ninja, I forgot you were bi”
Another record starts. What? That’s Wu Tang’s Assassins playing. “Woot Woot! (dat’s a sound a da poleeece!)” Everyone panics expect for our hero and Ninja. She can just disperse them both off the scene with smoke before the riot power suits can rush in to bash and prod everyone.
They appear at a phone booth. Spawn906 would use his secret, unlimited, free phone card number to make an emergency call to his accountant.
“Slick Tony, flush the account and courier the bills to the safehouse in Chinatown”
*bzz* Ninja’s pager goes off. “Those must be the bills.” Spawn906 gives her the key to the foot locker under a gutter off the curb of the safehouse address. The foot locker IS safehouse. Isn’t Spawn906 so clever?
The sun rises down the street. Ninja and Spawn906 separate to start July 2nd, 2007 as docile, inconspicuous workers. Tonight, they will meet again to confront the next challenge to the free exchange of knowledge, or pass the time watching super-underground mixed-martial-arts fighting.